Less Self-Help, More Holy Spirit Help

Break Free from the Self-Help Cycle

I don’t know about you, but I love a good podcast that provides new information, insight, and inspiration for things I’m interested in. I am so glad I live in the age of Google where answers are found in milliseconds. I can find everything from the best way to stretch and fold sourdough to which supplement I need for migraine prevention.

The internet feels like freedom at your fingertips until the mindless scroll takes a mental toll.

It feels so helpful until you wind up hearing twelve different hot takes on one subject and now you’re more confused than ever before. In an age where everyone wants to be an expert, it’s hard to know who to trust. Will the real experts please stand up?

We are loaded with information, yet easily misled with so much conflicting advice and opinions. We must be on guard. We can’t allow an internet guru to become our guide. Think—God before Google. I want you to write these words on a piece of paper and stick them somewhere important:

Less self-help, more Holy Spirit help.

Self-Help Can’t Save You

Self-help might motivate you to try a new morning routine. Self-help might bring you insight into a relational issue. Self-help might inspire you to organize your closets or try a new chicken dish for dinner. But self-help won’t set you free. True peace, love, joy, healing, and deliverance does not come from a self-help strategy, it comes from a Savior.

I believe God uses many modalities to bring help and healing. I’ve received help and healing from therapy, movement, and even medication. But I also believe in the power of the Holy Spirit to totally transform our hearts and minds. I believe in transformations so great that one can say, “I was once one way, now I’m forever changed.” Yes, our total transformation comes from the Holy Spirit working in us and through us.

The Holy Spirit is our helper. We will always be disappointed with the answers we find when we look within ourselves, or reach for the next new self-help book off the shelf. 

I don’t know about you, but my mind has gotten stuck in the self-help cycle. It’s like a load of clothes you forgot to put in the dryer. And so they sit in the washer overnight until you wake up the next morning to find them soggy and sour. That’s what the self-help cycle does. It never really gets the job done. Yeah, the clothes look clean, but upon further inspection, they’re still stained! And then you have to repeat the wash cycle again. Yes, that self-help insight or deep dive discovery may look life changing, but at the end of the day, you're still the same person. On to the next self-help book, back to the washing machine.

Ask Away

So what does Holy Spirit help look like in your day to day life full of mundane tasks mixed with whatever else you may be facing at any given moment? I am not here to sell you on a new morning routine complete with an energizing coffee elixir with collagen powder and mushrooms, deep breathing, gratitude meditation, devotional, journaling, five minute tapping exercise, and a cold shower to jump start your day. I’m not going to give you a guide, system, or step-by-step process to power up your life. I am not going to lecture you on your discipline, drive, or dedication. I don’t know what challenges you face, what obstacles you’re up against, what heartache you’ve experienced, what kind of trauma you’re processing, or what you should make for dinner tonight. I don’t know, but our Heavenly Father does know. Friend, I want you to simply ask the Holy Spirit, your helper, for help. That’s it. Less self-help, more Holy Spirit-help. I hear the words of John in John 14:26 saying, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” He wants to help you study the word, stay planted by the stream, produce the fruit of the Spirit, pray when you don’t know how, and grow in spiritual wisdom.

When God Goes to Costco

 “Can you go to Costco with me, God?” I prayed before my grocery run. I remember feeling off that day and not really up to the task set before me. Long gone are the days of dinners for two. I only have three children, but you would think I’m feeding an army by the looks of my mile long receipt. I parked my car—inhale, grabbed a cart—exhale, whispered a prayer—inhale, and flashed my executive member card at the front door— exhale. Yes, I know God is with me everywhere I go—omnipresent, but asking Him to join me on a grocery run is how I actively acknowledge His presence and provision in my life. He goes before me. And He goes before you, too, even down the aisles of Costco. And you can rest assured knowing He sent His Holy Spirit to live within you and help you each and every day.

Need Help?

What do you need help with today? Going to the grocery store and feeling anxious? Feeling inadequate in motherhood? Struggling to make the right choice in a hard situation? Or are you facing an unthinkable situation that leaves you sleepless and sad most days? Can you identify one thing in your life you need help with right now? Write it down on a piece of paper, no matter how big or small it seems. It could be marriage, motherhood, finances, health, anything you need help with. Get as specific as you can. “Holy Spirit, I need help with _________. Please lead me and guide me into all truth regarding this situation. The Bible says you are my helper, and I trust you will help me in this. Help me to receive your truth on the matter and follow your instruction in faith and obedience. Amen.”

Ask and Acknowledge

When a problem arises, ask for the Holy Spirit’s help. Ask Him for help first. Before you worry—ask. Before you create a plan of attack—ask. Before you phone a friend—ask. Before going down the rabbit hole at 11 p.m. on YouTube—ask. Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” We can come boldly before God’s throne of grace with full assurance He will help us in our times of need. 

There was a time in my life I felt so very needy. It was a season where everything felt like it was spinning out of control—so many questions and so little answers. I cried at the drop of a hat. Emotions were high, my spirit felt low, and I just wasn’t sure how everything was going to shake out. The situation affected me on all fronts—mind, body, and soul. I remember driving in the car one day, and praying, “Okay, you’re probably going to get tired of me God, but I’m going to come more boldly to you than ever before. I need your help and I’m not going to stop asking until all of this is worked out. Show me a clear sign every single day of what I’m supposed to do.” I remember how my heart pounded as I held tight to the steering wheel—crazy for making such a bold request of the Almighty, nervous in knowing there was no more safety net, and relief because I finally, truly put the burden all on Him. Sure enough, every time He gave me a sign, spoke to my heart, or strengthened me in the scripture, I would ask again and again. And I began to trust on a deeper level. And this process of asking for help, acknowledging Him when He showed up through scriptures, whispers, and rest, began to deepen my trust in His provision for my life. Right now, you may be asking,  “Can I really trust you, God? Can I trust you with the details of my future when I’ve been so disappointed in the past?,” like the question I asked driving down the road. Little did I know, all of that asking was building a new level of trust I needed in my own heart to move on from the pain of the past. 

Ask for help, then acknowledge the help when it comes.

To acknowledge someone means to recognize their authority. How are we to recognize the Holy Spirit’s authority in our lives? As believers, the scripture has ultimate authority in our lives. We must be rooted in God’s word in order to receive wisdom and revelation, in order to mature and grow spiritually.

We cannot expect to thrive when our spiritual diet mostly consists of social media squares, Christian one liners, Bible verses we memorized as children in Sunday School, topical Bible studies, or our favorite preacher’s theological hot takes. 

Practice

Practice saying it out loud. “Thank you for your help, Holy Spirit.” Thank Him for the small victories, big joy, strength, salvation, sings, whispers, winks, and wonders. Thank Him for peaceful strolls down the grocery store aisle and relief on the road when you finally decide to come boldly to His throne. Acknowledge His authority and power in your life to work in you and through to to produce the fruit of the Spirit. We build trust and become more dependent on Him by inviting His presence into problems and acknowledging where our help comes from.

Could you be bold enough to ask for those seemingly small and silly things you need help with? Could asking for help in small things lead to greater freedom in asking for help in big things, in all things? What would it look like to ask for the Holy Spirit's help in small details of your day? How would it feel to not lean on your own limited understanding, rather, lean into the everlasting arms of God?

Ask for the Spirit’s help, acknowledge the Spirit’s authority, and apply His instruction to your life today. And remember…

Less self-help, more Holy Spirit help.

Grace and Peace,

Audra